This Isn’t a Midlife Crisis—It’s Me

I was listening to a conservative podcast the other day, and they were talking about someone who transitioned later in life. They kept calling it what you’d expect—a midlife crisis.

And I’ll be honest… it got in my head.

It made me stop and think—is that what this is for me?Is my transition just a midlife crisis?

I’ve spent a lot of time sitting with that question.

At first, part of me wondered if maybe some of the changes I’ve been making in my life could fall into that category. But the more I thought about it, the less that label made sense.

How can it be a midlife crisis… if I’ve spent my entire life living a lie?

A crisis is something that shows up out of nowhere.This didn’t.

This has been there the whole time.

For years, I convinced myself that the things I liked were just what I was supposed to like. The life I built—the interests, the identity—it all fit the role I thought I had to play.

But I’ve come to realize something simple, and at the same time, something incredibly hard to accept:

I like what I like because it’s me.

I like bourbon. I like cigars. I like guns, trucks, and being out hunting. That’s not fake. That’s not something I need to throw away to become someone else.

Because here’s the truth no one really talks about—there are plenty of women who like those things too.

So why can’t I?

Why can’t I be trans and still like the things I like?

I’m not changing who I am on the inside.I’m trying to make the outside finally match it.

And yeah… there are things I love that the world would label as “girly” too. Heels. Skirts. Nail polish. The way those things make me feel like I’m finally stepping into something that’s been waiting on me my whole life.

That doesn’t make me confused.

It makes me me.

I don’t fit neatly on one side or the other, and honestly, I’m starting to realize I never did.

I’m trans. I’m transitioning.I’m still conservative.I still want the best for this country and for our kids.

And at the same time—I believe people like me deserve our rights too.

That’s where everything seems to break down.

Somewhere along the way, it turned into sides.Us vs. them.Right vs. wrong.Win vs. lose.

And I don’t think it has to be that way.

I don’t think either side should be trying to force their beliefs down each other’s throats. I think we’ve lost something along the way—basic conversation. Listening. Trying to understand instead of immediately reacting.

Because at the end of the day… most of us want the same things.

We just see the path differently.

So no—I don’t think this is a midlife crisis.

I think this is what happens when you finally stop running.

When you stop pretending.

When you decide, after a lifetime of trying to be who you thought you were supposed to be… to just be who you actually are.

And maybe the better question isn’t “Why can’t we all get along?”

Maybe it’s—“What would happen if we actually tried?”